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"I figured forsure you'd be in that off the shoulder top you had to have and the newheels you've been trying to find the right place to wear them to?Normally I'd say not practical but I'm thinking since you've finallyagreed even while babysitting, you're not stepping out not looking yourbest?" I only agreed to the date so he'd tell me where he got this dress!"sighed Lee agitated."And figured if all the kids were around it would be easier?" quizzedhis mother."To control the beast," smiled Lee calming down. "Yeah." Maybe don't stir the beast kissing him next time instead," teased hismother. "But I'm right about the outfit, aren't I?" Not going to kiss him again Saturday mom," said Lee embarrassed. "But Ithink so. Still my first date and should I not feel like that girl?" Honey you'll never know unless you do," said his mother shrugging hershoulders. "Kind of like you did today and if you ask me, you almostseem like you don't want it to end." Some yes and sometimes not so much! And I'm. My God, I jerked off in the same room as another guy. He saw my ass, and not just my butt like you would in a changing room, my actual ass. My fucking anus! Oh, Jesus, not only that, he touched it and that’s not even the start. He fucked it. Oh, God. And I let him.I let him. I feel utterly dreadful. So uncomfortable and so exposed. What is this feeling?My mom’s a therapist, so I was raised on a steady diet of “name what you’re feeling”, but this feeling? This one’s new. It washes over me again and again, until finally, in the early hours of morning, I get it.Vulnerable. I feel so intensely vulnerable.-The next week or so passes in a thick fog. My libido has taken on a life of its own. I’m out of control, to the extent that most nights, Jess has to tap-out, and that’s saying something. It’s not for nothing she had the words ‘kinky’ and ‘nympho’ in her profile. She seems almost relieved to get her period and gives me a bit of a wide berth for almost a week. Without her for relief, I.
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